[Super Duper Fantastic] ISFP/INFP. 4w5. World Explorer. Super Hero. Rose-colored Glasses.

Apparently, it should be some time BEFORE 12:30AM of the next day. Since I have about 8 minutes, I’d better type quickly, prep for sleep, and start getting my z’s!

We had a training session today. They always say that these sessions are mandatory, but when you look around the classroom, you’ll notice right away that about half of the expected attendees have shown up! What the heck! Today’s session was related to making presentations, so we had to give quick talks in front of a camera. They played them back and everything.

I do NOT like public speaking. I swear, my blood pressure went up to unnatural rates multiple times today. TRAUMATIZING! I can see why it’s important for the business world, but it doesn’t mean I enjoy it one bit. Doesn’t matter how much practice we get!

Christopher probably doesn’t realize the havoc that he’s wreaked upon me. It’s not really his fault. I’ve only been avoiding the question…

During our conversation, he mentioned that he found his happiness stemming from how close he is at reaching his wants. I would have to agree with that. There is a definite joy that comes along with feeling accomplished. It’s something along the lines of attaining one’s goals or at least becoming another step closer to where you want to be.

Right now, I think that I am unhappy with myself/who I am.

So I need to figure out the “Ideal Me,” so that I can start taking baby steps in the right direction. Self-improvement, rather than self-loathing. Definitely more positive. I need to stop moping.

First things first – goal for the week. Get back on a regular sleeping schedule. I’m failing on Sunday night, but will check back in again for the rest of the week.

On a side note, I’ve just realized how difficult it is to cut the habit of putting two spaces after the end of each sentence. I’ve had to go back and take them out of this entry!

Yup, Kimchihead is right. Too much fun, and not enough of the moving along. I’m going to be taking it a little bit easy for the upcoming month. Liver’s not in good shape. I was so caught up in the social aspect that I haven’t been focusing on anything else. It is definitely affecting other aspects, so I have to work on that.

I just need a breather.

Christopher asked me the other day, “What makes you happy?” and I couldn’t give him an answer. At least not one that I could consider articulate or eloquent. Sad. I disappoint myself in that I still sound like a high schooler. You would think that English wasn’t my first/primary language. *shake fist*

And on another related note, I’m just too selfish to allow other people into my life at the moment.

I’m not as diligent of a writer as I used to be. It’s causing me all sorts of trouble. My memory’s getting worse and worse. And now that I am not documenting, I easily forget what I’ve done just a few days before. So I have to do a recap for my sanity’s sake.

The weekend following Labor Day, I was in Portland. Some house-related errands to run, shopping at the outlets, and a little bit of the tourist thing. Did all that with a cousin and her friend. She flew in from Seattle since she was there for the few days prior. I went up to Multnomah Falls again since she’d never been before. It took a lot to convince her to go all the way up, considering how steep the trek is. But in the end, she made it all the way to the top and back, and of course – then thanked me for not letting her quit halfway. If you’re going to go up the falls and you’re already halfway there, it’s such a waste not to finish the whole thing. We took quite a few pictures, but I’ve been lazy about uploading them. So in a few hours or days, they’ll show up on Flickr.

My mouth has healed up, which means I have to torture it some more. I will be making an appointment to get braces soon. Hoorah! Metal mouth!

Work is sending me out of town for a few days this week. Not particularly excited on this one, and I’ve got some fairly good reasons. I have to pack and drive up tonight after attending a family wedding banquet. Hoorah. It’s making me bitter, but I’m hoping it’s a temporary feeling. I do love my job, just not all the drama that goes into it. It makes me lose faith in “the adult world.”

This song makes my eyes water. I know, I’m a few months late on this one. Just heard it recently on the radio. When I don’t drive to work, I don’t know what’s out there. It’s Wait For You by Elliott Yamin.

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I’m missing you and I’m wishing you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know; so now I’m all alone

Girl you could have stayed but you wouldn’t give me a chance
With you not around it’s a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they keep runnin’ down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be

CHORUS
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I’m fine it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you

Been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You gotta be feeling crazy
How can you walk away
(When) Everything stays the same
I just can’t do it baby

What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is and it just ain’t like that
Why can’t you look at me?
You’re still in love with me
Don’t leave me crying

Baby why can’t we just start all over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But you’re telling me it won’t be enough

CHORUS

So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you’re keeping inside
That is not how you want it to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it’s the last thing I do

CHORUS

I’ll be waiting …

This whole healing process STINKS. My breath stinks. It’s toxic! Smells like something went ahead and died in my mouth. So I’ve been brushing the teeth a LOT, drinking more water, taking chlorophyll pills because I can’t find parsley ones, spraying myself with breath freshener, bought those little ice burst crystals. I hope it goes away when I’m all healed up because this is not only disgusting, it’s freakin’ embarrassing. Thought I’d share it with the rest of the blog world. YAY!

In other news, I spent Labor Day in a daze. I’m really losing my mind because aside from names escaping me, entire weekends of activities seem to disappear as well. Saturday, I went to a birthday/Filipino cooking party during the day, and then a barbeque/house party at night. Sunday was spent R&Ring in Foster City, followed by a little shopping, a Korean dinner, and then late night karaoke. Monday was family time, mostly. We went to a dim sum place, and I had to act like Little Miss Priss and ask for a fork and knife to cut up all the dumplings into little pieces.