[Super Duper Fantastic] ISFP/INFP. 4w5. World Explorer. Super Hero. Rose-colored Glasses.

Haven’t done these in a little while. Here goes! Friday’s Feast questions: here!

Appetizer: What is your favorite carnival/amusement park ride?

I like the fastest roller coasters, the ones that get your blood pumping, adrenaline rushing. They might possibly flip you upside down, but that’s not even required. The best ones have cameras to take pictures of you in the moment. I spend the entire ride with a certain expression glued to my face. Try holding that while flipping in circles and moving at high speeds. It’s awesome!

Soup: How do you react in uncomfortable social situations?

I often retreat. Uncomfortable social situations confuse me, and while I want to understand them, I need to back off before I can take a look and figure it out. Sometimes I don’t realize until much later. I’m awkward.

Salad: On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy discussing deep, philosophical topics?

I do enjoy deep, philosophical topics with engaging individuals who will respect another’s opinion, rather than putting them down for not being correct. I will say “7″ for this.

Main Course: Did you get a flu shot this year? If not, do you plan to?

No flu shot this year. No plans to.

Dessert: Approximately how many hours per week do you spend watching television?

I’d say, around 2-4 hours. Not that much. That would be about the same as a show or two, sometimes even less.

It sorta hurts. I’m confused, sad, slightly frustrated. It makes me doubt myself. It’s all-consuming. I feel lied to and somewhat betrayed. You wanted to be with me, and then now you don’t. That part isn’t your fault NOR mine. You were a mess to begin with. It was about open communication. I should have known. Rose-colored glasses. I’m guilty of this.

I just can’t help what I am feeling.

Wow, so this is rejection.

I think when it comes down to it, I just cared a lot for you as a friend and mistook that for something else when you showed interest. Rejection isn’t easy, and that’s why I have to learn to cope.

At least it’s a growing opportunity/learning experience? Moving along…

There is no longer a guy situation. You see, when things ended where they did several weeks ago, they ended rather strangely. Suddenly, no more phone calls and no more text messages. No more hanging out randomly. What started out as a great friendship with lots of attention for all parties turned into something so awkward and uncomfortable. I was definitely very confused.

No doubt there were motives behind all the hanging out, but not all parties were suspecting. Can men and women become friends and not be romantically involved? Donna and I thought so. Apparently, we’re just naive because the two guys we’d been hanging out with (both older) just made things awkward, strange, and whatever. Sure, feelings were not reciprocated, but it didn’t mean – okay, now you can’t talk to me, and I can’t talk to you because it’s going to be strange. UGH. Just lay it out on the table, so that we’re clear where we stand.

I confronted him tonight. I had to hear him say it. And now that I’ve heard it, I can then learn to accept it. When all is said and done, I truly hope there is a friendship. I need some people around me who can just be open and honest with me and that I can do the same with. I hope I didn’t misjudge in the pursuit of this particular friendship. We shall see.

We are a little early this year on the “Weird/Random Things” meme. For the last two years, I’ve completed a version of this meme in January. It was five or six things in the past. This year, it’s seven. Do we get weirder with time, or do we just realize how weird we really are? I will try not to cheat and use any of the old ones if I can help it.

These are things on my mind, things about me…

1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog. [Champuru]
2. Share 7 random and/or weird things about yourself. [See below!]
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. [I'm cheating and not tagging. If you fill this one out, just let me know!]
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. [See above.]

01. I eat a lot, more than what a lot of others can eat. I don’t eat quickly. In fact, I’m quite slow. So it’s slow and steady eating. I don’t know where it goes. I know that is considered lucky, but sometimes it is annoying. I’d just like to be healthy.

02. I am absolutely guilty of being passive aggressive. I just wish I knew how to step away from that. It’s so much easier to stand back. It’s a Libran quality. How do we stay diplomatic without being passive aggressive? Can we?

03. I can’t seem to sit up straight. I should start wearing a back brace. I really do not want to be the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but at the rate I am going, it can’t be too far off. I stopped going to the chiropractor because I had to pay for braces, and that was already using up all of my Flexible Health Savings account at work.

04. When I am feeling restless, I need to do one of the following things: 1) hop on a plane, 2) get a haircut, 3) dye my hair, 4) rearrange my room. I am feeling restless these days. What am I going to do?

05. I tell myself a lot of things. Why don’t I ever listen?

06. French fries go so well with an ice cold milkshake! Ice cream on a cold day! Hot and cold. Sweet and salty. It all just seems to work.

07. While I am not high maintenance in terms of the physical, materialistic way, I’m a pretty emotionally demanding person. When I care, I need to feel cared for.

—–
Thanksgiving weekend was good. It wasn’t too crazy.

Thursday, we [along with 17 other Yelpers] volunteered at the food bank for a few hours. We separated large bags of rice and beans into smaller 1-lb. bags. Afterwards, a smaller group of us went out for some food in the Mission. Donna and I ordered these gigantic burritos – the same thing for the both of us. Yikes. We should have shared! At night, Thanksgiving dinner at uncle’s. I ended up losing $40 over Mahjong to my uncles and aunt. No biggie. It was fun, and that’s probably the only time that I am willing to spend longer periods of time with family.

On Friday, dim sum with Mia [whom we hadn't seen in forever!], Perci, and Bella. We didn’t do much else since we ended up prepping for a Thanksgiving dinner party at Kevyn’s house. We made lemon drop Jello shots and chocolate rum mousse. Both turned out quite good, but the mousse was more work than it was worth.

Saturday, after having pho, I went with Leif to see an adaptation of two stories from Murakami’s “After the Quake” at the Berkeley Repertory Theatre. Even though we sat spitting distance away from the actors, I enjoyed it. The two stories were meshed into one. It was a good show in an intimate setting. In the evening, Donna and I went out to dinner and then a going-away party.

Sunday was spent on an all-day outing up in Marshall, where we chowed down on oysters, oysters, and more oysters. It was so yummy. In the evening, we went over to Kevyn’s for dinner.

Now it’s back to the grind.

Traveling in a large group AND on one of the busier weekends of the year can lead to a spectacular or craptacular experience. I think it was on the brink of the latter, saved by the appearance of some dear old friends of mine.

Our flight was delayed. We were planning on eating dinner once we landed [which was supposed to be at 7:30]. We landed at around 10:30. By the time we were all set with the rental cars [power went out briefly, and they had to reboot all their computers.], it was already past 11. Needless to say, there were some grumpy folks on board, so we called it a night once checked in at around 1 in the morning. We had dinner at a mediocre Korean place in K-town, and during that brief period of time, my rental had been smashed by tomatoes and gunk. Yea, thanks for the welcome, LOS ANGELES!

Waited until the next morning when we were in Anaheim to clean it off [Thanks L!]. Disneyland was a blast, as expected. How can it not be when you’re in the “Happiest Place on Earth,” right? Some drama ensued over the course of the evening, which resulted in a bit of disappointment and frustration on my end. Luckily, Jeshii and Yayoi were there. Plus, fried chicken soaked in gravy?! YUM.

Sunday was a day to relax. We woke up, grabbed breakfast, and then went for our massages and facials. Met up with Jen there. Lunch was in Thai Town, although the restaurant I had wanted to stop by was closed. We ended up at another, where you would have to make the request for NO MSG. I felt a bit sick after lunch, so I didn’t get to fully enjoy gelato at Scoops. After Scoops, we checked out the Museum of Jurassic Technology – weird, but interesting. I might have been the only one in the group who actually liked the place.

After we stopped by Beverly Hills to load up on cupcakes [which were then subsequently left on BART once we returned to SF - SAD!], we were on our way home. Instead of waiting for our delayed flight to SF, we switched our tickets and went via Oakland. Had some cupcakes on the plane trip back, so at least we got to try them.

It was nice to get away from the city, but perhaps next time, I won’t be traveling with all these people. I don’t need other people’s drama!

I don’t like being cryptic. It makes me feel like I am hiding from my blog. So here’s the story about the meeting of a guy. Two months ago, I meet a guy at a bar. I am there with some newly-made friends. He’s there waiting for his. We speak briefly – at most 20 minutes, off and on. At the end of the evening, we go our separate ways. Several days later, we are in attendance at the same event. We exchange greetings and introduce each other to our friends. I spend most of my evening around other people. Really I do not think much of it at this point…

Over the course of two months, numbers/emails are exchanged. On several occasions, we have dinner – just the two of us. I still don’t think much of it since having dinner with a friend doesn’t seem out of the ordinary to me. We start hanging out together quite a bit, mostly among friends. We continue our chatting, and at some point – it just happens. We have talked about it, tried to pinpoint it, but really can’t. Apparently, he has been dropping hints all this time [Actually, since that "same event" we attended awhile back], and I’m not getting all of them. Then he drops the ball [after some consultation with my sister], and I’m not exactly opposed to it. So the mutual flirtation continues and escalates.

Only problem is that the guy comes with baggage – A LOT of it. Where do I begin? He’s married. His marriage has been on a destructive path for awhile – separate rooms, separate lives. No, I am so not the home-wrecking type. The divorce/separation, while in progress, has not been finalized, so lots of strings attached. He has also been unemployed for several months. Definitely not a high point in his life to be meeting him. What am I doing, right?

So when he asked me at dinner this evening if we could still remain friends if we weren’t romantically involved, I was not the least bit surprised. I have a conscience. I’d been thinking about it for awhile, but I just couldn’t bring myself to doing it. So in a way, I was relieved that he took the initiative. The idea of “us” while he still has so much to figure out would only add to the confusion. So as of this evening, back to square one – friends.

My interactions with him have been all about open communication, which I am so appreciative of. I, on the other hand, need more time to think before I can speak. He wanted some sort of reaction from me, and all I could tell him was that I needed some time to digest. Was it relief that I felt? Probably. Slight disappointment? Possibly.

Admittedly, it was fun to be giddy again about someone.

But here’s the thing – you don’t really feel the same amount of hurt or loss when you go in without expectations, and there’s really nothing being broken up. You still feel some degree of hurt though.

My fondest memories of Spain are from the time spent in the Andalucía region, and it all started in its capital – Sevilla. We took a cheap flight down from Barcelona [YAY - Vueling!], hopped on the bus to the Santa Justa Station, then took another bus to the city center. For our short stint in Sevilla [3 days, 2 nights], we stayed with Marga [Hospitality Club] and Norbert. Such nice folks, and a very cute apartment.

We arrived in the evening, so it was really two days of actual time spent seeing the sights. The first night, Marga and Norbert took us out for a walk/drink. While the heat during the day was pretty unbearable, the evenings were perfect for a stroll. Not too hot, definitely not cold.

Some of the spots we visited during the first actual day: the Cathedral, Alcazar, Jewish Quarter, and also Plaza de España! Donna and I went to the Cathedral and Alcazar on our own, but Marga met up with us after that and made visiting the other sites a LOT easier. No map necessary!

[1] [2]

The Cathedral of Sevilla is the final resting place of Christopher Columbus. It occupies the former site of a mosque, which seems to be pretty common in this part of Spain. Moorish/Arab influence in the past that ends up being taken over… at least it wasn’t completely destroyed, just taken over and incorporated. [1] and [2] Outside of the Cathedral.

[3] [4]

La Giralda is a minaret tower, originally intended for the chief mosque, but now the bell tower of the Cathedral and symbol of Seville. We climbed up the 34 ramps for a view of the city. [3] View from on top of the tower. [4] This is the view from INSIDE the tower.

[5] [6]

[5] and [6] Inside the Real Alcázar – the palace.

[7] [8]

[7] and [8] Plaza de España – this is the site of the Spanish pavilion from the 1929 exhibition. Very neat tile art that represents each region of Spain. It was used as Naboo in Star Wars Episode II. How’s that for a random fact? Standing next to the columns, we look TINY.

[9] [10]

Here are some shots taken with Marga. [9] was taken in the Jewish Quarter – small alleys that we can stretch out our arms and reach both buildings. It’s known as Barrio Santa Cruz and wasn’t too far from the Cathedral, so after we were done with both the Cathedral and Palace, Marga came to meet us to take us around. [10] Marga in a fountain, filling up her water bottle. Apparently you can drink from the fountains. Personally thought it tasted a little funky, but it’s an idea. She asked us to watch for cops!

[11] [12]

[11] and [12] At the flamenco show! Afterwards, Donna and I walked across the river to Triana for late night eats. Of course, we were forewarned not to go to any place with no prices listed as it’s often the site of tourist traps. So we wandered for quite some time before we found a place! Ordering food was always such a chore because we had to yell over people in Spanish. So yeah, took awhile to get the food even once we found the place. It was great though, and in the end, the guy behind the counter wanted to give us some of the dishes free, but I was lame and didn’t realize it. I just kept telling him that his math sucked.

And the trip would not be complete without a jumping photo. This was taken on the roof of Marga’s apartment building. I had to take the photo, so I’m not in it.

More photos: Sevilla – June 2007

Haven’t done one of these in awhile. Pulled from H!

You
Can
Only
Type
One
Word.

1. Where is your cell phone? bag
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? where
3. Your hair? long
4. Work? CRAZY
5. Your father? SILENT
6. Your favorite thing? sleeping
7. Your dream last night? absent
8. Your favorite drink? soda
9. Your dream car? hybrid
10. The room you’re in? bedroom
11. Your pet? Cici
12. Your fears? uninspired
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? happy
14. Where did you hang out yesterday? Sunset
15. What you’re not good at? speaking
16. Eyebrow rings? nope
17. One of your wish list items? hug
18. Where you grew up? California
19. The last thing you did? bowl
20. What are you wearing? clothes
21. What aren’t you wearing? shoes
22. Do you currently like someone? maybe
23. Your computer? Dell
24. Your life? woot!
25. Hungover? nope
26. Missing? you
27. Thinking about? life
28. Eating? bears
29. The weather? cold
30. Your summer? gone
31. Your relationship status? fickle
32. Your favorite color? violet
33. When is the last time you laughed? bowling
34. Last time you cried? month
35. School? WHY?

My relationship with this blog has resembled my dwindling relationship with S. I’m a little less cryptic with him, as our conversations don’t go beyond the 5-minute “Hello, how are things?” and that is all. Are we both just not making the effort? I can’t get myself to believe that the three years invested meant nothing. Am I holding onto something that’s lost?

As those of you who still read this could probably tell, there is a new boy situation. Details forthcoming – I will eventually have to write about it. When I read my blog now, I see GAPS – lots and lots of gaps [like the ones between my teeth!]. Just hopeful/optimistic for when/if it pans out. I didn’t imagine it, as I had previously thought. So it may possibly develop into something. I just know that something is reciprocated, so we shall see. And *gasp* it’s local. Three years of seeing someone several times a year to the possibility of seeing someone ALL the time. YIKES.

My teeth are slowly moving. Seeing results = YAY! I got this special floss a few weeks ago that was way too thick to fit between my teeth. NOW, the floss does just fine. So definite progress!

Dealing with a person who is emotionally drained can be and IS emotionally draining.

Soooo tired right now.