Horoscope for the week of August 14, 2008 from Rob Brezny:

Twenty years ago, I ran for city council in Santa Cruz, California. As one of my campaign promises, I told voters I would regularly consult with the spirit of America’s third president, Thomas Jefferson, with whom I’d established a telepathic rapport. I fell a few hundred votes short of winning a council seat, but I kept my pledge anyway: I’ve been communing with Jefferson ever since. Last night I met with him in my dreams. I told him you’re in an astrological phase that’s favorable for seeking out new teachers and teachings, and I asked if he had any advice. He suggested that you do what I do: Have conversations, either in dreams or fantasies, with an historical figure you deeply respect.

I often wonder if some of the creepier insects [such as the giant crunchy spiders that move quickly along the wall or the freakish Daddy Long Legs in my bathroom the other day] that come into my life are actually embodiments of ancestors. You know, they come back to keep an eye on you? I feel uber guilty when I smash them to bits, but really, if you’re coming back to watch over me in this lifetime, please come back as something a little more subtle.

I’ll probably have an easier time communicating with historical figures in dreams if I just sleep deep enough. Last night, I went to bed right after dinner and kept right on sleeping until the morning. I was awoken once by a text message, but still got quite a few hours in. Unfortunately, I do not recall any dreams at all. :/ I hate that.

Also, where is Rob Brezny from? Since when do we use “an” in front of the word “historical” as if it started with a vowel?