Like my last year's phase on adding only “friends” to social networks (following only friends on twitter, adding friends on yelp, facebook..etc.), but it backfired as people got angry that I wouldn't add them until we met in person and determined the state of a friendship.

I find that there are certain friends that you feel comfortable with—for specific situations. Do you invite certain people to go with you grocery shopping, to only bars/restaurants, to other activities? Or do you selectively not invite certain people to events knowing that they will be the “wet blanket”? Or do you spend time with the people…who are toxic? (for me, like the ones who belittle me but I realized recently that I don't need to be around them).

Then there are the flakey ones which you seem to be referring to. But how do you build those who take time spent together as granted…as convenient? I try to do the 1 on 1 thing, but there are so many people who are not comfortable with that unless it's in group situations…and they are the flakey ones. As we get older, our circle becomes tighter even though the attendance of a party may get larger.

Perhaps the question I often ask myself is…when I consider a friend: if that person moved across the country, would I go out of my way to see them? Or most importantly, would that person go out of their way to see me?

Like my last year's phase on adding only “friends” to social networks (following only friends on twitter, adding friends on yelp, facebook..etc.), but it backfired as people got angry that I wouldn't add them until we met in person and determined the state of a friendship.

I find that there are certain friends that you feel comfortable with—for specific situations. Do you invite certain people to go with you grocery shopping, to only bars/restaurants, to other activities? Or do you selectively not invite certain people to events knowing that they will be the “wet blanket”? Or do you spend time with the people…who are toxic? (for me, like the ones who belittle me but I realized recently that I don't need to be around them).

Then there are the flakey ones which you seem to be referring to. But how do you build those who take time spent together as granted…as convenient? I try to do the 1 on 1 thing, but there are so many people who are not comfortable with that unless it's in group situations…and they are the flakey ones. As we get older, our circle becomes tighter even though the attendance of a party may get larger.

Perhaps the question I often ask myself is…when I consider a friend: if that person moved across the country, would I go out of my way to see them? Or most importantly, would that person go out of their way to see me?

I have been spreading myself really thin over the last year or so meeting new people who have become basically acquaintances. Now things are changing so that I'm desiring more time with less people and more time to myself. This seems to me to be the natural cycle of things and I know that those people that are really special to me for whom I am special will naturally be the ones I end up spending more time with. Even if I pick and choose people those people may not be available to me and that's okay. I'll let things run their natural course and in the end I believe this will bring the best relationships together.

As for old friends we tend to drift in and out of each others lives. Sometimes we get close and sometimes we just barely communicate, but once that relationship is established that closeness and familiarity never seems to go away, even when long times have passed. How much time to invest in old friends? I think it just happens, and when it does as much time as is needed or wanted. I get together twice a year with my college friends on an annual skiing trip and an annual river rafting trip.

How much time to I invest? Is it really an investment when you are getting an immediate return? It's like saying I'm investing time in my education by reading, but the reality is I just love to read. I spend time with friends because I love it, and through that love comes more and deeper friendships.

These inconsistent ones, what makes them inconsistent? I used to think some people were aloof and inconsistent, but after seeing why they acted that way, it didn't feel inconsistent, just a different way of interacting with people. That made it a lot easier to interact with them because I knew their expectations were different.