Strangers

Continuing on the previously explored topic on whether a particular “friendship” is or isn’t worth your time, I want now to address the matter of strangers – approaching them, meeting them, engaging them. In the case of a networking event, the answer is easy. Of course you are going to devote the time to mix, mingle, and make contacts. And if you’re an entrepreneur, of course you’ll want to practice your pitch over and over and over!

For the other cases where you’re going about your daily life, when do you stop and talk to strangers? Or if someone approaches you, how much time do you give them before you walk away?

One friend of mine dedicates 15 minutes to anyone she encounters, giving the same amount of respect to politicians, CEOs, and people on the street. It’s helped her as her photography career’s developed. Is 15 minutes enough? Perhaps. I was on a MUNI train the other day, and it was stuck about half a block from its stop. Someone sitting got on the phone about five minutes after we’d been sitting there and basically talked about how we were waiting FOREVER. Since when is five minutes forever? 15 minutes must be ridiculous for that guy.

Still I’d love to try doing that. I know that it will require conscious effort. I have a tendency to want to walk away from salespeople and other solicitors, and sometimes there just doesn’t seem to be enough time outside of the daily routine to stop and chat. I’m also on the shy side when it comes to approaching strangers. They may be like me and want to walk away! Making the effort seems more daunting than just avoiding it altogether. Maybe that’s why I don’t consider bars to be very good places to meet people…

At the same, you don’t know what you end up missing by not having those encounters. Hmmm…

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