The hospital enjoys toying with my mind. I’ve come to that conclusion.

After postponing my surgery for three months [and only after several false potential appointment alarms], they’re now messing with when I can get my bands/wire removed. So the surgeon got sick, but that doesn’t mean his residents can’t relieve me of this liquid diet of no foreseeable end. Seriously. We’re calling them every day, leaving messages, and getting no responses.

The earliest date they gave me for an appointment was March. That’s more than a month away, and it’s after all the Lunar New Year festivities that I’ve been anticipating for the last few weeks. It’s out of the schedulers’ scope, really, so I just need to get in touch with a resident or the doctor himself.

*shakes fist*

All we can do is keep calling.

In the meantime, I’ve got COBRA payments to make as it appears that this whole thing won’t be finished for a while longer. My supportive coworkers have been the saving grace. I can take time off as necessary to rest, which will also allow me time to sort things out with the new house. You know, things like picking out cabinets, counters, and floor tiles.

Oh, and RV made me the most delicious guacamole shake today – avocados, chicken broth [lots of it + water], cilantro, onion, and mild salsa [because the spicy stuff really kicks your throat when it goes straight back].

I’ve been waiting to post about this, thinking that the issue would just go away. It hasn’t. So any advice is appreciated.

About a month and a half ago, a former coworker of mine [not even that close to her] came to me with a request for a place to crash because she was physically abused at home. Since I don’t have my own place, I couldn’t offer her a place to stay, and so I asked a friend of mine for a favor. Thinking that it would be a short-term situation, he agreed and let her crash at his place.

Fast forward to a month and a half later, she is still there. I think what bothers me most is that we were miscommunicated to. A place to crash does not equate to a place of transition for when you don’t have a job or apartment, and you don’t want to go home to your family who lives an hour or two away. I don’t know how long it takes to get back on your feet, but you do not do it at someone else’s expense, especially someone you do not know. I feel like she’s taking advantage of our kindness, and I am surprised that there’s nowhere else for her to go. He’s refused money that she’s offered him since it’s not about the money. It’s about getting back on one’s feet and not using someone else as a crutch.

And of course, now I feel like a shitty friend for putting him in this situation. I’ve told her already that she needs to get out of there [hinted at first, but straight out said it later], but a week later, she is still there. I’ve sent names of recruiters, sent her name to recruiters, and also forwarded apartment listings.

Not okay.

I’m beginning to suspect that she asked me out of last resort since I wasn’t even that close to her. Perhaps she’s abused the kindness of her own friends or don’t wish to tell them what’s really going on, but it’s gone on for too long. If anything, I feel bad for having put my friend in the awkward position of trying to get someone to leave.

What to do?! I’m not naming names, so as to not embarrass the persons involved, but SERIOUSLY. This infuriates me. Try to do something nice for someone, and they take it too far.

You are truly your own worst enemy. Convincing oneself of anything else seems impossible.

This past week has been one of many mood swings and mood killers. RV just rolls his eyes when I make up an impossible argument, twisting words to mean what I am convinced they are to mean when it really isn’t anything close.

I’m vague because I can’t even pinpoint what it is. I’m hoping this feeling passes because it’s somewhat self-destructive. My behavior. My actions.

He asks me to communicate. I respond in silence or something completely unrelated. He’s right though. If I don’t talk to him or to anyone else, it won’t ever work itself out.

As a distraction, I asked for new crochet hooks and some fuzzy yarn. I’m working on a rather simple scarf for RV, hoping that creating something will take my mind off the destruction of something else.

We all have our moments – some to build us up and others to tear us down. I felt like I was on a high just a week ago, planning trips across the country to visit friends after a spontaneous splurge [#AYCJ] and preparing for a week long adventure in Black Rock City. And then I was at an all-time low, wondering and worrying about an investment I’d made years ago. Money wasn’t the main concern because I had what I needed to make the proper payments. It was everything else – the stress of figuring out who to call, what the situation was, and where I’d gone wrong since taking care of the problem was not as easy as it should have been. It’s really a tale of two insurance companies, one that I will be working with in the future and the other that I would very much rather be done with.

It all started with a fire. Without the fire, I wouldn’t have come to the realization that I would even need to consider a different insurance agent. I was under the impression that the woman responsible for the policy was doing her job. For the past few years, we’ve had the same insurance agent on the property. We paid our bills through her, and this year was not anything different. My father called her up with a credit card number and went on vacation, assuming that she’d do her job and take care of the bill. I only found out a few days ago that the bill hadn’t been paid, we’d supposedly been sent cancellation notices [none of which were received], and therefore, were not covered by any policy. The bizarre part of all this was that in calling the agent to tell her about the fire for the first time, she recognized my father’s voice, asked what our policy number was, and then said she would get back to me. I ended up calling her again because having tried to file a claim online, I noticed that the policy was no longer active. She knew nothing about it and supposedly had to go investigate what the issue was. She claimed that we’d received payment notices, cancellation notices, and termination notices on varying dates from May through July. So why hadn’t she called us to ask what the deal was? Why hadn’t she checked in to see if we were choosing not to renew our policy with them? That’s lost commission there, isn’t it? Also if there was a cancellation notice, it would have been sent to the bank as well. There were no voiced concerns from the bank, as far as I know!

Over the course of the several years of business with her, we’ve asked for name changes and address changes. It took her a very long time to change the address, and she never changed the name or added a name to the policy. Any bills that would’ve been received at the house would have been addressed to my father, rather than to me. If I’d known about the bills and notices that were supposedly sent [or had the chance to register with the company online], payments would have been made, and none of this would have been as big of a headache. To make matters worse, she would keep diverting from the problem – putting me off, telling me to file a claim even though it probably wouldn’t even make a difference. It was a waste of my time.

Luckily, through all this, there have been a few positives:

First would be Advanced Construction, a random company I picked off Yelp. They were super kind and supportive, offering to take a look at the house on their break because I couldn’t really get to it from San Francisco. They gave me an estimate, described the damages to me, and gave me their expert opinion. I would’ve used their services had none of the insurance companies covered any of the costs. I wrote a review of them on Yelp: here.

Second would be the other insurance company involved. As part of a homeowners’ association, we are required to purchase a separate policy to cover everything else. And thankfully, the damages were outside of the house and fit into the description of what the other policy covered. In other words, *phew* – it was such good news when I spoke to the adjuster yesterday. I am in the process of getting another policy with them.

Third would be RV. While he couldn’t exactly solve the problem at hand, he was there with me while I was fuming about the insurance agent and the situation. He was there while I was crying out of frustration and annoyance. It wasn’t easy discussing the situation over the phone without wanting to break down into tears. I’m a little overemotional/sensitive like that. And also the other friends I’ve spouted off about the situation with. It helps to talk about it to figure out how best to go about it.

So yeah, I am done with them, at least through that particular agent. I have a one-star Yelp review ready, but I’m waiting until the repairs are done to post it. When I called the insurance company directly, everyone seemed open and willing to listen to the situation. There really wasn’t a solution that could be offered since the policy was no longer active. The adjuster that I finally ended up speaking to was very helpful though. He said that there was only one possibility at this point, and he said he’d be willing to help me get through it if I wanted to. It would involve investigating the error of the agent and would involve management level decisions on coverage. I told him that I’d let him know if the other insurance company wouldn’t cover the costs. I’m just happy to know that not everyone is as incompetent as the agent I had!

In perusing job listings on Craigslist [just to see what's out there], the following thought crosses my mind:

How much are my time, experience, and skills really worth?

It baffles me when the postings list x, y, and z skills, but when they include the compensation they are going to pay, they’re basically expecting candidates to work for free. Even $10-$15 per hour in this city is not enough. Seriously, if you want x, y, and z skills, the person would have put in time and money to acquire the skills and certifications.

I understand that the job listings are really a company’s wish list, but still – baffling. You can’t get something for nothing, or can you?

It really upsets me when I spend all day waiting to hear back from someone, so that I can do work, and they don’t even send me what I need. And then in turn, it makes me unreliable to the person I am reporting to.

Ugh! :/

Today, I had to go to my manager’s house to pick up a binder. Long hours are expected for tomorrow because it’s all coming to an end. I’m going to be so happy when it’s over and out of my mind.

I’m falling behind in terms of duty as a friend. I’m not physically there for some. I feel pretty shitty about that. It’s like if I balance a few things, other things are neglected. It’s like I catch up in one area and then fall terribly behind in another.

I just can’t seem to get it right at the moment.

If my computer is waiting for me when I get home, I will be the happiest girl. I mean, chances are unlikely because they’ll probably swing by when nobody is home, and I will have to wait until Monday as Amazon predicted. UGH! But *scream* there was a chance!

*fingers crossed*

Update: DELIVERED!!!

#71 of 101 in 1001!

NOT!

We are constantly being bombarded from every medium possible. Many trees have been killed in the process of putting fliers in everyone’s homes multiple times over. I don’t even want to begin counting the various measures and candidates I’ve seen coming through my mailbox. Plus, many of us access the internet, so we’ve got plenty thrown at us throughout the day. Youtube videos, news stories, recaps, blogs, Twits… I already voted by absentee ballot. All my fingers are crossed for certain candidates and certain measures. Now please stop killing trees and sending me crap!

On his Bad News Hughes blog, Patrick Hughes warned his readers never to use a mini-vacuum cleaner to suck up the contents of an ashtray. Speaking from experience, he said the rapid intake of air could reignite waning embers and create a fiery mess. I suggest you make that your metaphor of the week, Libra. It’s a good time to clean the hell out of everything in your life and throw away all the stuff that’s dead to you. But make sure that whatever you dispose of doesn’t contain some smoldering remains that could blow up in your face. (P.S. I’m not predicting things will blow up, but rather advising you what to do so that they don’t blow up.) – Rob Brezny’s Free Will Astrology

I cannot bring myself to do that at the moment. Everything else seems to overwhelm me. I’m left without a moment to breathe, and when I do take a breath, it’s because my mind’s not on, and I’m asleep.