Wow.

There was much hype for the movie due to Heath Ledger’s passing, but his performance is definitely NOT overrated. It shows his ability to capture such a complex character and his flexibility from one role to the next. The other actors performed brilliantly as well.

Or I just choose to ignore said hints.

If you work in Metropolitan New York City, Washington, D.C., or Southern California, get to it! Heard about this from Tara.

And I think that once one’s accepted this, falling in love or meeting someone doesn’t seem as impossible or as distant. I meet a person. I don’t seek perfection. It’s more of finding someone I can trust, want to trust, and want to be trusted by. It’s someone I want loyal to me and I want to be loyal to. It’s a mutual understanding that hey, we’re not perfect, but we get along, and we want to live and grow old together. Mutual tolerance of flaws and differences, while at the same time, learning and growing together, one not allowing the other to remain stagnant.

I want to believe that I will find “true love.” In the meantime, I’ll keep trying to figure it out.

Forgive image quality. It was taken by my cell phone.

Every so often, I call S. It’s like chatting with an old friend, rather than an old lover. The conversation is not strained, and even though it’s been over a year since we last saw each other, it still seems so fresh and so new. We seem always able to pick up from where we left off, no matter the situation. I often wonder what he thinks of these random conversations, these random catch-up sessions, peeks into one another’s lives… I miss him, but I know it’s not of the romantic variety. It’s the familiarity and comfort.

Why don’t you do something about it?

It’s just really frustrating.

I want to corner you and shake some sense into you.

She’s not going to wait around for you to wake the fuck up.

Okay, I’ll keep myself out of it.

This time, I sent him an email basically giving him my number since we had only been communicating via emails and online messaging. I invited him to the Zombie movie/BBQ. Oops. Did I forget to include that minor detail a few entries ago? So is it a big no-no to invite someone you barely know [at least, under these circumstances] to an event that your friends are throwing? I didn’t really introduce him to anyone since it was all dark outside, and people were coming and going. Does that make it okay?

The evening ended awkwardly. At least, to me it did. Am I just way too observant of the silences? I think I am. I worried that I’d totally messed it all up, even though at this point, I’m not sure where I stand along the lines of interest, but I do think he’s cute. I’m totally jinxing this by writing about it. That’s what happened to MH. I wrote about him, and shortly thereafter, he was dating this hyperactive young thing.

Anyway, JM’s contacted me about lunch. A good sign? GAH!

Sidenote: A guy I met recently asked when he could take me out for dinner. It was awkward as I tried to figure out if it was a date or not [just as friends]. I’m starting to think that was what he was going for since he kept trying to get me to pinpoint a time and location. I think he’s nice and all, but I am really not that interested… I don’t like it when people are pushy like that, so I hope [with fingers crossed] that he is just looking for a friendly dinner companion.

Just today, I found out that a very good friend, Brandon, is leaving. We didn’t start out as such friends, and even now, we have this odd sort of relationship. We went to the same high school, same college, and ended up at the same company. We were never really talking until we ran into each other at work one day. I ask him for help with work, and he confides in me on his relationships and work decisions. It’s odd. I’ll miss having him around at work [even though I don't see him all that often], but I’m certain we’ll keep in touch to continue our strange bond.

Who will I sit with during training!? It comes up in a few weeks. I’m dreading it just a little bit. Last year’s training in Austin was a blast, but only because I was in the minority and in a new city. I really had no clue who anyone was, but I meshed really well with a girl who was also in the minority. She was from Boston. When I’m surrounded by people I know, but don’t really talk to, it’s harder, I think. I might use that opportunity to study or perhaps try to network. It’s not too late, is it?

We ended up having dinner downtown [Colibri] and just catching up. The rest of us had caught up in the past, but it was our first time seeing Jill in a very long time. It was actually funny bonding with her over how we were so mistreated by a certain classmate back in the day. Dennis is getting married. He proposed back in April. Such a romantic story too! *sigh*

I love that we’re all grown up now and that we communicate with each other just fine. I need to make these reunions more than just once or twice a year.

Side note #1 [Related]: Everyone looks the same. It’s so bizarre. Large versions of the same faces.

Side note #2 [Unrelated]: I went and got a mani/pedi tonight with a friend. I’m definitely not the girly type, but wow, it turned out so well. I know where I am going when the cousin’s wedding comes up next month! I remember being a little tiffed that we weren’t part of the planning process, but it’s not as if we’re that close now anyway. I’m just recycling a dress I wore in the past, getting nails done, and throwing on a pair of shoes that don’t make me look like the Jolly Green Giant.

I was just having a good time.

I probably could have gone alone, but it was nice to have a familiar face to turn to at the end of the evening, even though he spent most of the evening with his face attached to this cute Danish girl. The music was awesome, and my feet were hating me by the end of the night.

I’m looking forward to next month when the event happens again. Next month’s will feature the House of OM - DJ Colette and Mark Farina will be present.

There will be bootyshaking.