[Super Duper Fantastic] ISFP/INFP. 4w5. World Explorer. Super Hero. Rose-colored Glasses.

Once in awhile, we gather as a family at the cemetery to pay respects to those gone. Our second uncle since 1997. Various grandparents starting in the early 2000s. It was one of those mornings. At 10am, we drove through the dreary fog of Daly City to Colma, home of more dead than living. Did the usual burning of incense.

I remember the first funeral I’d ever been to. I felt so guilty for not letting the tears overwhelm me. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel sad… I think my body just didn’t know how to react.

In February of this year, I wrote the following:

July 2006 – Maternal Grandfather at age 96. He’s with grandmother now.

November 2006 – Paternal Grandmother at age 83.

February 2007 – Paternal Grandfather is in the ICU after a car accident right across from our house, at age 88. Critical condition. Decisions are being made.

Fuck. All in one year – 4704 on the lunar calendar. Starts with four, ends with four. I should have known. [Four is an unlucky number in Chinese culture.] Three more days until the new year…

I still miss them all.