The splint is out! What a relief. That piece of plastic was getting pretty gnarly from seven weeks of just sitting in my mouth. Yuck and definitely TMI! So now I’m splint-free, but sadly still on the liquid diet. I’m in a much better mood though now that the surgeon has had the chance to see me. It was just not knowing how everything was healing up that was bothering me and adding to my overall impatience.

PLUS, I can talk again!

On Friday night, we went to the Chabot Space Center to see Festizio [@festizioband] perform in the planetarium. YES, IN the planetarium. How cool is that? The sound was fine from where I was standing, but I think the dome didn’t help carry the sound properly to the rest of the space. No matter – it was still a great time! AND for the first time in a long time, I could actually introduce myself to people and roam around without keeping RV or Keane or the sister by my side. Those three were my interpreters for the longest time – poor things!

It was a good show overall. They played some new songs, one of which I am a huge fan of. I found myself humming along to the recording Keane did for me the next morning. Listen to it here!

The hospital enjoys toying with my mind. I’ve come to that conclusion.

After postponing my surgery for three months [and only after several false potential appointment alarms], they’re now messing with when I can get my bands/wire removed. So the surgeon got sick, but that doesn’t mean his residents can’t relieve me of this liquid diet of no foreseeable end. Seriously. We’re calling them every day, leaving messages, and getting no responses.

The earliest date they gave me for an appointment was March. That’s more than a month away, and it’s after all the Lunar New Year festivities that I’ve been anticipating for the last few weeks. It’s out of the schedulers’ scope, really, so I just need to get in touch with a resident or the doctor himself.

*shakes fist*

All we can do is keep calling.

In the meantime, I’ve got COBRA payments to make as it appears that this whole thing won’t be finished for a while longer. My supportive coworkers have been the saving grace. I can take time off as necessary to rest, which will also allow me time to sort things out with the new house. You know, things like picking out cabinets, counters, and floor tiles.

Oh, and RV made me the most delicious guacamole shake today – avocados, chicken broth [lots of it + water], cilantro, onion, and mild salsa [because the spicy stuff really kicks your throat when it goes straight back].

Lesson #1: If you can afford one, get a Vita-Mix. Otherwise, don’t skimp out on blender usage. Blend everything if you have to!

Since I’m banded shut, I’m still on a liquid diet. The first week consisted mostly of clear liquids and Ensure. In the second week, I’ve added rice porridge and even carrots. This is all made possible by the Vita-Mix that my parents have. It is absolutely amazing, and if you’re a juice/smoothie/soup junkie, it is essential. It turns all the bumps and lumps of porridge and carrots into liquid. And lately, the family’s been indulging on Dungeness crab! They finally decided to throw some of it into the Vita-Mix with some soup, and ZOMG – SO GOOD. They got their Vita-Mix from Costco, in case anyone else is looking for one!

Lesson #2: The correct bowl, spoon, or cup is crucial.

Maximizing the amount of food that ends up in the mouth rather than the chin and clothing depends greatly on what you use. Find out what works for you and make sure to keep ‘em washed and handy! What worked in week #1 was the syringe. I’ve since moved on up to a spoon, and then to a cup, and then to a bowl. I now use a combination of bowl and cup, depending on the consistency of the drink. I think I drink more than a gallon of liquid a day. I’m very amazed with myself!

Lesson #3: Rinse, rinse, rinse, rinse, rinse. Even if you don’t feel food particles, they are there in your mouth. Use a Waterpik if you have to! Practice circulating the water in your mouth to get good flow going.

I figured out a more effective rinsing method, so now I know that the inside of my mouth is cleaner than it was getting before. They stress oral hygiene because the incisions are still healing, and since I’m banded shut, I can’t really get in there to brush the tongue and the area behind the teeth. YUCK! Having a Waterpik certainly helps too.

Lesson #4: As cruel as it may seem, having people eating lots of delicious foods around you isn’t such a bad thing. In fact, everything smells fantastic, and you can just imagine those same flavors in the liquids you’re drinking.

Today, I went out and saw some friends. They say that I don’t look so puffy, but that’s because they didn’t see me days ago when I actually was very swollen. I saved them from the trauma that it would have caused, haha. Anyway, it was a wine tasting event, so luckily, not too food heavy – just some cheese, meats, and fruit to pair. I don’t get easily irritated by being surrounded by the smells of food too much. Perhaps that was what my parents intended when they took RV and me to dim sum the other day. Of course, I could only sit there and drink tea! And having to stare at Dungeness crab for the entire week, I’ve become as numb as my face!

Lesson #5: Even walking is exercise!

It was good to get out of the house. Plus, we walked there from RV’s apartment, which is about 1.5 miles away. That’s the most walking I’ve done since surgery, and I was pooped. We walked most of the way back too. Considering the hills from the FiDi to Pac Heights, it was a much needed workout. The problem with being cooped up and sitting around most of the day was that my body immediately converted to jelly. I’m serious! I would sit in a spot too long, and the jelly parts of my body would mold into the shape of the surface I was on. It really scared and grossed me out, so I’m motivated to walk longer distances for the exercise. It’s hard to participate in any strenuous activity, so I’m hoping a few random exercises will help. In fact, just from walking the 2.5 miles today, my legs have regained some muscle. It’s not just squishy jelly anymore.

Being on a liquid diet means I’m trying to make up for the quality of the meals with the quantity of the meals. I am constantly thinking about what I will be drinking next. There isn’t really all that much else going on. I’m just trying to stay warm, healthy, and healing.

Jen sent me these recovery friends. They’re super cute, but I seriously wish they’d start talking to me. I feel like I’ve got cabin fever, even though I’m technically not cooped up inside all day long. I’m out and about, but I’m only exposed to my family, RV, and a few random strangers who I’m not even able to communicate with.

It’s a Thursday night. Normally, I’d be out with friends. I miss them. :(

It’s not a life or death situation.

It will be several months out of a lifetime.

I have a fantastic group of friends who are supportive and ready to help in any way.

Everything will be okay.

1.5 days to go!

I went in to see the surgeon today. Yup, the Sunday before the big day. He wanted to take a look at my bite one final time before practicing the procedures on my models. It was like being at a zoo, poked and prodded and analyzed by the surgeon and his residents.

One commented, “She doesn’t seem phased.”

Yeah, well two post-op appointments would do that to you. I also had a string of other mouth-related appointments earlier in the week, so pulling of my lips up and down and sticking popsicle sticks along my gums? Used to it.

I’m glad he called to meet up beforehand though. He explained the procedure, and the gist of it is this: Break the upper jaw, move it forward, tilt it, and also widen it. To widen it, they make it into two pieces before they screw everything together and hold it in place with titanium plates. Risks include possibly killing the blood supply to certain parts of the mouth and potentially ending up with dead teeth. Gross. During the surgery, my sinuses will fill up with blood too, so I’ll be congested for awhile, and I won’t be able to blow my nose. The lower jaw will be cut around the nerve and then put back together, so that it lines up with the upper jaw. If they hit the nerve, it might be numb indefinitely.

Fantastic, huh?

The surgery will last between 6-8 hours. The good news? The surgeon has had one of these such surgeries every week for the last month or so. Bad news? I’ll be wired shut with a splint for FOUR weeks.

It’s too late to back out of it now. I knew what I was getting into when I started all the appointments, sorta…

Two more days.

Five more days until surgery, and it appears that all the eating I’ve done hasn’t helped at all. Potluck after potluck. No help whatsoever. I am still at 125. I am already underweight per BMI, which probably contributes to my inability to keep my feet warm. When I mention that I want to actually gain weight rather than lose weight, many others roll their eyes and say something about wanting my problem. The fact of the matter is from what I’ve read, most patients lose 10-20 pounds from being on the liquid diet. I CANNOT lose that weight. I do not have 10-20 pounds to lose. I don’t even have five to lose.

There’s not much else I can do other than to constantly feed myself while recovering. As many hours as I am awake, I’ll need to be on intake mode. RV will be juicing things for me. I have a Vita-Mix at home too, so we’ll blend as much as we can. Another friend offered to make soup and risotto for me when I can actually have soft, but more solid than liquid, foods. I’ll take what I can get, so if anyone else is a blending/soup/soft foods genius, apply!

Another thing that freaks me out is anesthesia. The whole idea of it freaks me out. You’re not really asleep, but you are basically unconscious and unaware for the duration of the surgery. They do everything in a period of time that does not even exist for you. SO WEIRD. You’ll count down with the anesthesiologist and black out. When you come to, your face is numb, and you’re drooling everywhere. SO WEIRD.

There are some people who videotape their recovery, and while I don’t know if I’m brave enough to POST that stuff online, I might just take photos/videos for my own record. I won’t have much else to write about anyway since all I’ll be doing is consuming as much as I can.

Here I thought it’d be smooth sailing through surgery since everything was scheduled. Not so! After a very long pre-op appointment with the hospital [It went overtime!] and then later the surgeon’s office, I found out that my surgeon had been overbooked. On the day of my surgery, he also had twelve other appointments to keep. So he took the easy way out and asked that I have my surgery date changed. Only thing is, the next available surgery date isn’t until the very end of this year. Literally. On December 30th [since New Year's Eve is a holiday], I’ll get all of this done.

I only found out after I had to make two molds, answered a bunch of duplicate questions from earlier on in the day – all on an empty stomach.

This is after finding the perfect job to let me go at the right time. This is after coordinating with my insurance company, so that my benefits don’t change on me halfway through. After countless calls to the schedulers, you’d think they would get it right and schedule me for a time that is actually available on the surgeon’s schedule.

This is after I set aside time for a party to stuff my face at. I’ll still have the party this weekend, but it just won’t have the same meaning as if the actual surgery date was right around the weekend.

:-/

I feel like after all that preparation, I’ve been let down. I am annoyed, upset, UGH. There’s just not much I can do about it though. Worst of all, it’ll still cost a shit ton, which hopefully insurance will still cover. So annoying.

I seem to have disappeared off the face of the blog. It’s been less than a month, but if I don’t update for a few weeks, I start to feel like I’m forgetting to document everything that’s going on… not that it all has to be documented, but anyway!

The biggest thing is that I have a job! I started on Wednesday of this week, and so far it’s going well. I’m very happy with everything, and at the end of the three month trial period, hopefully I will be converted to a full-time employee. I technically work full-time now, but I’m under the recruiting firm’s payroll, rather than the actual company. They want to see how it works out before committing. The interview process was such an arduous one [I met with them five times!], and their search was essentially to fill the role in the long-term. I guess their last person wasn’t so great, so they’re taking a safer route now.

Before starting work, I spent a week in DC on the #AYCJ pass. I stayed with a friend [Matt] in his corporate housing and spent the days wandering around DC, Arlington, and Alexandria. I was basically all over the place, but I would’ve explored more if I wasn’t there by myself. There are a lot of areas that people advise you not visit, so I would stick to the areas that I was certain about. For the other places, I’ll have to wait for RV to accompany me to DC! Promise I’ll be updating with photos and lists of the places visited soon. They’re just sitting on my camera…

On the Metal Mouth front, I went to the orthodontist for the last time before the surgery! They put the hooks in, so basically when surgery is over, the oral surgeon can just wire me shut on those… I am so not excited about this. My pre-op is coming up next week!

Okay, not quite. But guess what?! I have a surgery date! Rather than just call me back to let me know, I received a letter from the hospital telling me my surgery date and my pre-op date. THANKS. At least it’s sooner than I had anticipated.

So here’s the dealio. I’m not really getting a NEW face, but my profile might change a bit because the jaw surgery affects both my lower and upper jaw. I will mostly look the same… I’ve had a severe underbite for my entire life, and basically what they’re doing is saving me a lifetime of trouble. In the long run, I’d have problems with eating if I left everything as is. They’re going to knock me out with anesthesia, take apart my upper and lower jaws, reproportion the bones [cut some out and put some back in], and then they’ll put me back together. They’ve done it for many years, so it’s not uncommon.

Recovery time is between a week and a month. I won’t be able to eat really. I’ll have to relearn to speak with my new mouth. Liquids will be my friend. Side effects may include loss of feeling in the face. If I’m drooling away while talking to you and not noticing, you will know why. For the first few days, I’ll look completely swollen and gross. I am NOT looking forward to that. That’s alright though. I’ll probably just lock myself up in the house with my pain meds. ;-)

So YES, a surgery date’s been set. Hooray! Rejoice! Another one off the list.

021 – Schedule jaw surgery date.